Found myself hitting the ground running at dusk again tonight. Felt AMAZING! Once in awhile it feels pretty damn good to change up my normal routine of running in the Cali sunshine. As a matter of fact it felt SO good tonight that I just kept going. My legs had much more in me, but I stopped at 8.2 miles just under 70 minutes. Water was a necessity!
The power of a smile is astonishing. Around the 4 and a half mile mark I passed a gang of firemen enjoying a nice bowl of frozen yogurt. One just happened to sneeze as I neared the path between the pack. Without a second thought, I responded, "Bless you". Now that I think about it, I probably was screaming considering the power of Eminem literally pushing my pace. The power of music is another topic. But hey I still heard them laugh.
Went for a late night run today. I just couldn't stop my head from spinning. The voices kept asking, "What are you doing with your life Natalie?". This is a question I know I am not alone pondering.
We are asked this question from the moment we blow out those candles leading to the glorious adulthood we so desperately longed for. What we want to be when we grow up has so many possible definitions. For instance, when do we really stop growing up? Is there some key age I am not aware of that you suddenly feel as if, ok I'm grown. Growth continues to happen everyday. We are constantly transforming, learning, experiencing, watching, listening. Sure the ways in which we process this ongoing stream has adapted over the years, but the process never ceases to exist.
I am ok with this. I know I will never stop "growing". Hopefully my waistline does, buy my mind does not. Everyday it seems I have a new idea, a new thought, a new challenge or answer to the proverbial passage into adulthood inquiry. What keeps me awake at night, besides the years of late night obligations to pay my rent, is the voices telling me to act on this process. Just pick one. Pick one idea and go with it. Do not be afraid to fail, do not be afraid to speak out loud, do not be afraid to allow this idea to grow. A psychologist would have a field day. Self-talk evolves from self-confidence. Maybe this is the area I need to work on. If I am not confident in the process, confident in the idea, confident in my ability to allow growth, I will get no further than my own mind begging for questions.
So as with my very first attempt at the blog world, I once again vow to continue to grow. A phase I am ok with. Now I simply need the confidence to not prematurely cease.
Thank God for my ability to run, otherwise I feel I would be certifiably crazy.
