Fate

I've been told I have commitment issues. Shocking. I'm a runner. I run. This opinion however, lately may just be turning into a fact. Recently I have started to analyze, okay over-analyze, the choices I've made, and continue to make, when it comes to the opposite sex. Maybe it was the move BACK across the country. Maybe it's the date on my birth certificate. Maybe the sight of all my close friends in their white dresses, Facebook profile pictures no longer of them, but their babies, donning new bling on a certain special finger has finally hit me.....

Then again, maybe I'm just bored.

Either way, last night fate left a mark. First, I must divulge a little background. To know me is to know I heart New York City. I'm obsessed with NYC. I spent a few months in the city that never sleeps when I was 20. The best time of my life. Best, is far from the proper word to describe my brief stint. I am one to not regret. You live, you f@*k up, you learn. Sometimes history repeats itself. You move on. But, I'd be lying to say the thought

"I should've stayed in New York"

hasn't crossed my mind on more than one occasion. This voice in my head is dealing with a scratchy throat today. I don't even know his name. Our fates crossed, probably to stir up this previously muffled voice, but a loft in SoHo, a chocolate Lab, Christmas cards, photo albums, dinners, vacations....our life danced in mind. While I was in the city I lived at 302 92nd St. He lives at 307 92nd St. We talked about the streets we walked through. The restaurants we love. The bars we sat at. I couldn't help but think, if I would've stayed....

Would we have met? Where would we be know?

Now, I am a firm believer in the choices we make make us who we are today.

"Everything happens for a reason"

should be tattooed on my forehead. There are no such thing as coincidences. What we do with the feelings we get is up to us. Great. So after years of doing everything possible to be in control, I'm beginning to believe in fate. I just hope it's not too late.

FATE: the universal principle or ultimate agency by which the order of things is presumably prescribed; the decreed cause of events.