It's Never Too Late

Sunshine feels good. Really good. As I sit outside, spread out on the balcony of the Melrose Place-esque apartment community I live in, sunshine kisses my cheek. One would have to be crazy to not relish in the simple joys of the sun. So, I sit, I relish, waiting for someone to notice I'm crazy. Quite possibly insane, wrapped up in a routine expecting a different result.

Post-it reminders line my bathroom mirror.... 

"Never, never, never, never give up." 

"To believe in something and not live it is dishonest." 

"The trouble is you think you have time."

"Never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about."

"All great changes are preceded by chaos."

"People will stare make it worth their while."

"When nothing is sure, everything is possible."

"If the whole world was blind how many people would you impress."

"Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life."

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway."

"Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace."

"Never settle."

Soon, I won't see my reflection....

I follow twitter accounts labeled "motivational, inspirations, history greats, sport legends" scrolling through the feed, tea bag seeping taking in the advice channeling the morning paper. Constant reminders to impose feelings of a blessed life. To say it, is to believe it. Right. We are not what we do, but what we believe. Actions speak louder than words. 

Here I go again. 

Well. The sun is setting and it's blown its last kiss. Trouble with this routine is in the middle of the night, loneliness creeps in.

Too much time has passed to accept adolescent notions of wanting what we cannot have. Questions of fate, destiny and if little ol' me has anything to actually do with it reply instinctively. Too many questions lacking answers to rest my mind. Yoga has never been effective. Running is cheaper than therapy, but the high only lasts so long and I need a new pair of shoes.

Essentially, my mirror glaringly screams only time will tell. If everything does happen for a reason despite the purpose lining our bathroom mirrors, then I'll wait. One day the words will come out, timing will align, the sun will lay kisses in the dark. For now, two steps behind and far away mean the same thing.