Thoughtful Time

Back in the States. I've waited 30 years to say that. Yes, I've just given away the number. Hard to believe the one year anniversary of departing the D, again, is tomorrow. The choices we make all lead to where we are today. I caught myself saying, "I live with no regrets.", as I walked the cobblestone with teammates this weekend. Engulfed by history, endless stories of all life's changes wept onto the streets in this City of Love, permitting me to be me.

So, alright, maybe it's the jet lag or the 15 hour air time forcefully prying suppressed desires, but come on. Time is truly not as long as we think it is. I have so many dreams, so many goals, so many places I need to roam. Yes, I understand the difference between want and need.

The decision to move across the country, thousands of miles away from family, has made me who I am in this moment. I, absolutely, have no regrets. I, however, have itches. I was born to run...

Acceptance is the first stage towards recovery. In this recovery process, I vow to just be me. Too many questions linger every sunny day. Time will never allow a life without regret if these questions earn the pleasure of running.

I could create a Bucket List, or add to the lists lining my journal. Yes, I still keep a journal. The questions need to go somewhere, sometimes. The Bucket List is great, but jumping on the bandwagon has never been an activity I engage in. Too many talk without walking. Did I mention I was born to run...

The question on a 15 hour encore is, who. Not what, not where, not when, not even how, it's who. Independence is exhausting. All these dreams, goals, needs, would be so much better with another runner. I'll even slow down. Well, a little.