We've all been there. Well, shall I say "here" due to the present debacle I seem to have found myself in. This question is well beyond my days, honestly the exact moment this topic became an "issue" would be nice to know. Then maybe the issue would not have stood the test of time.
So, here goes. Why is it seemingly IMPOSSIBLE for men and women to be friends. Just friends. Simply two human beings engaging in a relationship with no expectations, no sexual desire, no hope of one day the opposite waking up and suddenly feeling weak in the knees.
Look around. Are there really any cross gender friendships, apart our gay community, that are existing without ulterior motives. No matter how much we repeat, "We're just friends", the truth one day will come out. Usually ending badly for both parties. The one heartbroken and the other perplexed. Both suffering a death. The relationship is forever changed, and quite possibly over.
I have a theory. If we all could be honest with ourselves and those we simply cannot live without, it would save us all some time. No matter how you spin it, "I love you" doesn't mean a thing if the feeling isn't mutual. Those knots in your stomach, waking minutes craving communication, night after night of the reoccurring fantasy.... The one where you'd rather stay asleep then confess.
So what are we all waiting for. And why is it impossible to be friends with someone who you care so deeply about just because they are missing a few butterflies.
I have another theory. It is far too painful to be close to someone you can't touch. Someone who would rather hold another's hand. Someone who knows everything about you, yet hasn't a clue who you truly are.
I've always said it's much easier to be friends with the member of the opposite sex. Girls are caddy. And a few other words I will keep to myself. Guys are drama free, less emotional, not needy and most of the time out to just have a little fun. Then the bomb drops. These guys are not out looking for friendship. It doesn't matter how long the friendship has lasted. In the end, the situation just plain sucks.
Even right this very moment there are a few men I would call my friends, but in the back of my mind, I either want to jump their bones or I have an itching feeling they want to rock my world.
Whoever really believes, "It is far better to have love and lost to have never loved at all", is not walking around with members of the opposite sex they call "just a friend".
