If you felt it, it was real.
The feeling may be cloudy chaos wrapped in a quickness blown away or lite up with a blinding ray, but the feeling happened. It's an addictive taste even the immune can't toast.
What do you do for a fix other than keep searching for the dealers replica. No matter how hard, far or willed, replica's will always show their tell. Unless the feeling strikes, learn to enjoy your own company. The education is priceless in a world of pretends.
What do they say, "Nothing worth having is easy." blah, blah, blah. Believe it.
The easy scapegoats take up space. To shun them is just not the cool thing to do. Be totally uncool. The thing that caught you blows them away. The space left behind lies waiting to feel ok with the void.
Be an outsider looking in, party of one.
I'm in it. Living it. History repeating itself won't fit in this mold. Who knew one quarter life crisis topped with a big ol epiphany Marciano cherry could force a completed, done, checked off the bucket list crazed audience to halt during intermission. It's not at all about the ending, the magic happens in the getting there. The end, is literally death and who's going to write for your cleared mind then....
When you find someone to sit quietly with, you miss their touch when they go wash away the intimacy even the morning light can't change, don't keep it all in for just your heart to feel. Feel it. Let them feel it too, even if it happens in an instant. Those instants are what make life worth living.
It's easier to be lost than found. When something gets you, catches you, leaves you rather thoughtless utterly stuck in the moment, it's easier to escape back into your mind, the chaotic mess filled with the overwhelming distractions circling every inch. It's easier to be consumed by careless caress.
