Lunch and What Not

I had lunch with a two wonderful individuals the other day. One I've had the pleasure to get to know over the past few months, and one whom I had just met 5 minutes before. It wasn't me sitting at that table. In the corner, one of not so many females, surrounded by suits. I like the suits.

It's in my blood. The closed toe, blackberry dependent, high rise hustler. I crave the energy of the diversified. Ask me to get the job done, and I'll do it. The dilemma is being asked. The problem is maybe I'm just being too easy. Why wait for permission. I know what I want. Now, sitting in the corner, I just need to go get it. I've always been a player, now in this climate, it's time for me to choose the game.

This lunch sandwiched between two friends sent a clear message. Start to read between the lines, then write the next page. The gentleman who preferred his tea iced welcomed me into this regiment. Although glancing down to hit a few bottoms every so often, he ignorantly paved the way for my future. The man to my left, always a cheerleader, bantered back and forth. There I sat seeing green, waiting for the moment my mind would catch up with my mouth. I knew exactly what to say. The words were stuck in another time zone.

I know exactly what I am capable of, I know exactly where I want to be, I know exactly who I want to encounter along the way. Sure I welcome surpises along the way. This is what keeps life intersting. Having been smeared with the dilemma, surprise one has been ruined. Time to wake up Natalie. Rule number one: remember to speak the words in your mind at every moment along the way. You never know who you are going to be having lunch with.

Single and Loving It....Really?

Sex & the City. As a female living in the United States, well let's be real, ANYWHERE in the world, you know just what the meaning behind those four little words is. The trouble is we all want to be one of those characters. Woman everywhere quietly in their minds have chosen a part to play. Well, except for those Samanthas.




I can't help but sit here wondering is this normal to want to be one of those iconic women?

I myself an a single gal. Surrounded by friends tying the knot, each time loosing a little piece of myself. One relationship dies as another evolves. I'm stuck as a caterpillar. Each time a friend marries, the cocoon gets thicker. Honestly, I couldn't be more happier for these wonderful woman. It's hard to be a girl in this century. Finding others to call actual friends is like winning the lottery. You get my point. So, it's only natural that I feel empty inside as I watch these friends transform before my eyes. Literally. Something old, something borrowed and something blue. They've already found something new.

Trouble is I don't have three other women to walk side-by-side down Madison Avenue in the same point in their life as I. This would make me feel better. Obviously. It's hard enough being 28 and single, imagine being 28, single, and seemingly the last women standing. Is it a sign that my best friends, those I've known forever, have crossed over to the dark side.

I close my eyes and see a future that terrifies me. Alone, well other than those cats, and too many years have passed since I felt a connection. Married people stick together, single girls in this century feed off of other single girls ability to mask their loneliness. Come on, your lying when you say "Oh, its great to be single. I'm loving my freedom." Bullshit. It's natural to crave affection. It's natural to want that person to tell what amazing thing just happened, that stupid thing your boss did or how some dumbass just cut you off. Moments that should be shared, are supposed to be shared. As a I get older, its harder and harder to be okay with not having someone to tell these things to anymore. God only knows what I would do without my Mom or my Sister. These are my something new, best friends.

If I just had those three other successful, beautiful, talented women in my life to meet me on every Sunday for brunch, I may be alright for a few more years of this. The thing is, in the real world, these women are already taken.

Are you lying to yourself by claiming to be single and loving it!?