Single and Loving It....Really?

Sex & the City. As a female living in the United States, well let's be real, ANYWHERE in the world, you know just what the meaning behind those four little words is. The trouble is we all want to be one of those characters. Woman everywhere quietly in their minds have chosen a part to play. Well, except for those Samanthas.




I can't help but sit here wondering is this normal to want to be one of those iconic women?

I myself an a single gal. Surrounded by friends tying the knot, each time loosing a little piece of myself. One relationship dies as another evolves. I'm stuck as a caterpillar. Each time a friend marries, the cocoon gets thicker. Honestly, I couldn't be more happier for these wonderful woman. It's hard to be a girl in this century. Finding others to call actual friends is like winning the lottery. You get my point. So, it's only natural that I feel empty inside as I watch these friends transform before my eyes. Literally. Something old, something borrowed and something blue. They've already found something new.

Trouble is I don't have three other women to walk side-by-side down Madison Avenue in the same point in their life as I. This would make me feel better. Obviously. It's hard enough being 28 and single, imagine being 28, single, and seemingly the last women standing. Is it a sign that my best friends, those I've known forever, have crossed over to the dark side.

I close my eyes and see a future that terrifies me. Alone, well other than those cats, and too many years have passed since I felt a connection. Married people stick together, single girls in this century feed off of other single girls ability to mask their loneliness. Come on, your lying when you say "Oh, its great to be single. I'm loving my freedom." Bullshit. It's natural to crave affection. It's natural to want that person to tell what amazing thing just happened, that stupid thing your boss did or how some dumbass just cut you off. Moments that should be shared, are supposed to be shared. As a I get older, its harder and harder to be okay with not having someone to tell these things to anymore. God only knows what I would do without my Mom or my Sister. These are my something new, best friends.

If I just had those three other successful, beautiful, talented women in my life to meet me on every Sunday for brunch, I may be alright for a few more years of this. The thing is, in the real world, these women are already taken.

Are you lying to yourself by claiming to be single and loving it!?

Tis the season.....

And another one bites the dust.....

No seriously though.

As I sit here amongst palm trees surrounded by those "in love" it is hard for me not to think about the topic. This is the season for love. The season where the radio, retailers, commercials, twitter , facebook.....fail to consider the art of the single one. Oh, thank you social media for the never-ending stream of couples cruise deals and diamond engagement rings.

I am not one to shed a tear, clutch the phone waiting for that call or loose myself in a pint of Chunkey Monkey to keep my mind from feeling the pain. But come on..... all us single people would be lying if we stood around all the time thinking happy thoughts about the guy last night who paid our tab and then went home alone. Sucker.

Those times get old and those happy thoughts turn into long nights playing mind tug-of-war. Should I.....? Oh the possibilities. Always finding myself with the "you only live once" answer, I sit here pondering the importance of affection. We all need love. I am almost 100 percent certain this has been studied and proven by someone, somewhere who wasn't just trying to get a piece.

Love means so many things. Who am I to recite Webster's thoughts on the meaning. Love is defined by each and every one of us. Love is simply a word.

So yes, I am woman hear me roar. I know what I want and try to tell myself to go after it with the whole "only one life" thing blanketing my heart, but I am woman see me fall.

This season of white dresses, bells jingling to the sounds of vows and mounds of cards that come labeled by two, addressed to one can wear on even the most independent of us all. Que Mariah Carey now....

Friends all around me are tying the knot. The lack of happy tears streaming from these baby blues is cause for concern. Come on cupid don't fail me now. My life has been blessed in so many ways, maybe I should count sheep to a different drumb....my meaning of love will find its way.