Inhale, Exhale. Repeat.

Why is it so hard to live each day to the fullest? How many times has this how-to methodology been told, over and over again? If only everything was as easy to do as to say. I blame the evolution of the 21st century American lifestyle . Honestly, most of the time I love it. Need it. Crave it. Welcome to the wonderful world of being a workaholic. The problem is, most of us are out of work.

Research has shown that people on average, spends 98% of the waking time in thinking about the past or the future and only 2 % in the present. A workaholic spends 99% of the time mentally planning and thinking about the future tuning out the here and now. Thus, only 1 % of the time is divided between the present and the past. Well then, I have issue with us all.

Thinking about the future is spoken to us from birth. We fortunate Americans are taught forward-thinking as a second language. First, we must speak, crawl, walk and chew by a certain age. Second, we must recite, write, sing our abc's and read by another. Third, we systematically are unconsciously placed into little boxes securing the future of our adolescent years by membership as jocks, artists, computer geeks, mean girls or dark ones. Now it comes, the age old question, what do you want to be when you grow up? The fate of our future is not one we were meant to decide prior to being given the freedoms afforded to us centuries ago.

As American's youth we are constantly reminded about the next step. We can't wait to reach double digits, be the oldest in our school, learn how to drive, decide where to go to college or graduate. The problem is once you get there, now what. In all our 18 years, not one person has taught us to just relax. Possibly one of the many reasons the pharmaceutical industry has taken it into their hands to rectify the anxiety levels in 3 year-olds. So instead of being taught how to control our own emotions, deal with a bad day now and again, believe in the power of each and every day, we're given a tiny little pill. By the time we're allowed to vote, our pill boxes have become more important than our water bottles. In a split second we are herded off to college, forced to declare a major, once again divided into those lovely little groups, some blessed with the luxury of not quite yet learning how to budget and now again yearning for another piece of paper.

With all this preparation, ocean of knowledge, statistics on what your major can do for you in the future and decades of various reformations thrown at us, now we are all suppose to want just as we did 4 years or so ago. So go get it. Get a job, get married and have babies.

Trouble is, after years of being judged by our plans for tomorrow with carefully laid milestones along the way to keep our freewill on track, some of us just can't sleep at night. I have absolutely no clue where I am going to be in 5 years. I know where I want to be, I know what I've done to prepare myself to get there. How could I not? This logic has been edged in my mind since I opened my mouth and said "Dog", when I was suppose to say "Mommy".

When is the appropriate time to stop and smell the roses? How do you teach yourself after years of waiting for the next step to do so? Why is not okay to be single still at 30? Just who are these people who've created this path we all must follow or be shunned? Is this the American way of life? It has become wrong to be independent. Then again, it always has.

A recent study found that one in 10 Americans are depressed, and one in 30 meet the criteria for major depression, with the rate higher among the unemployed and those who can't work. Shocking. As Americans we live for our work, literally. Our stance in society depends on what we do, how much money we make and if we've taken a vacation in the past decade. Those of us with labels, Beemers and roll over vacation time are the fortunate ones.

Welcome to workaholics anonymous. Now stuck in the depression box, health care to the rescue. Now, as adults we are medically unstable because we haven't learned to feel okay with the eroding chosen path paved from birth, edged in our minds during our adolescents and molded with adulthood. It's alright, we never truly had a choice. Just ask your local doctor you now have to see to simply get your money's worth.

Think. Become. You.

Went for a late night run today. I just couldn't stop my head from spinning. The voices kept asking, "What are you doing with your life Natalie?". This is a question I know I am not alone pondering.

We are asked this question from the moment we blow out those candles leading to the glorious adulthood we so desperately longed for. What we want to be when we grow up has so many possible definitions. For instance, when do we really stop growing up? Is there some key age I am not aware of that you suddenly feel as if, ok I'm grown. Growth continues to happen everyday. We are constantly transforming, learning, experiencing, watching, listening. Sure the ways in which we process this ongoing stream has adapted over the years, but the process never ceases to exist.

I am ok with this. I know I will never stop "growing". Hopefully my waistline does, buy my mind does not. Everyday it seems I have a new idea, a new thought, a new challenge or answer to the proverbial passage into adulthood inquiry. What keeps me awake at night, besides the years of late night obligations to pay my rent, is the voices telling me to act on this process. Just pick one. Pick one idea and go with it. Do not be afraid to fail, do not be afraid to speak out loud, do not be afraid to allow this idea to grow. A psychologist would have a field day. Self-talk evolves from self-confidence. Maybe this is the area I need to work on. If I am not confident in the process, confident in the idea, confident in my ability to allow growth, I will get no further than my own mind begging for questions.

So as with my very first attempt at the blog world, I once again vow to continue to grow. A phase I am ok with. Now I simply need the confidence to not prematurely cease.

Thank God for my ability to run, otherwise I feel I would be certifiably crazy.

The Art of A Twenty-Something

A article published in the New York Times this week has left me quite perplexed. This article titled, "What Is It About 20-Somethings?", goes into great length to try and discover the reason why the 20-someones are failing to travel the traditional cycle paved by generations before.

"The traditional cycle seems to have gone off course, as young people remain un­tethered to romantic partners or to permanent homes, going back to school for lack of better options, traveling, avoiding commitments, competing ferociously for unpaid internships or temporary (and often grueling) Teach for America jobs, forestalling the beginning of adult life."

I am no doctor or even a genius, but could this lack of following tradition be just the renaissance this country needs. Where has this holier than though tradition led us? The divorce rate is over 50%, unemployment rates are higher than ever, we are STILL at war, the housing market is failing, the automotive industry is bankrupt, youth education is suffering budget cuts and the government has handed out checks to stimulate the economy while simultaneously extended the time allowance for benefiting from not working. Oh and we're fat.

"Sociologists traditionally define the “transition to adulthood” as marked by five milestones: completing school, leaving home, becoming financially independent, marrying and having a child. In 1960, 77 percent of women and 65 percent of men had, by the time they reached 30, passed all five milestones."

I may be missing something, but the tradition needs to be updated. What is wrong with gaining higher education? Since when did supporting the ones you love become shunned? What is the rush to achieve these profound milestones by the age of 30? What happens then? All the happy couples suffocated by their jobs, without time to raise their children, go on vacation, read a book, learn new things? This is not 1960.

The article prefixed with two examples of syndicated television debuts this fall is more irritating than the authors lack of providing relevancy. If the tradition was working the television industry would not be capitalizing off of this new era of so-called inadequacy in life development. Anyone else pissed they aren't considered an adult because they haven't succumbed to the perennial march from step 1-5.

Dream on 20-Somethings. Continue to decline to settle for the mindless job that keeps you away from finding the relationship that breeds love, time to actually raise your children and opportunity to better the world we all live in. Happy people equals healthy, stable and productive people. Right now we're all fat, lazy, unemployed and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I don't know about you, but any cycle "they" say I'm suppose to follow needs to be rerouted.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html?_r=2&partner=rss&emc=rss