Funky Coma

It's been awhile. Well, let's just stick to the it's been awhile since I've blogged. The other activities I have also failed to routinely participate in is a whole other story.

Not sure what the reason is, but lately I've been comatosed. I can't quite get a grip on what is happening in the world of Natalie. This is me not complaining. I repeated this daily, "I am blessed in so many ways." Apparently my mind has become immune to this mantra.

Maybe it's the summer air looming. It is possible my mind and body have not yet gotten use to the seasons. One can get pretty spoiled in a California state of mind. This funk is getting me absolutely no where. Still, I can't help but feel there is a piece of me missing. Like someone came by and licked the filling out of my Oreo, stuck it back together and gave it back to me. Repeatedly.

This constant void of obligations leaves much too much time for my mind to ponder. I don't want to think anymore. A friend of mine once told me staying busy only left me unable to truly think about life and the true importanties. Pig-posh. I told him, I know what is important. Well, turns out he was not only older, but wiser. Hate it when that happens.

Now I trapped in this seemingly never-ending wormhole of thoughtfulness. Sh%t, what did I think was so important again......

Everyday Choices

When we get out of bed in the morning, we all have a choice. Well, many choices to make throughout this new day we've been granted. Arguably one of, it not the most, important decision of the day is how we will face the day, emotionally.

To be happy or to be sad?

I am a firm believer this choice is one we have complete control over. There is no magic wand, or pill, to wave, swallow or inject to make the road to "finding happiness" sans potholes. Still, this variable happiness is a time honored question asked of all of us, well since we can remember. The quest for happiness in turn haunts us all. Alternatives to the underlying answer are easy to acquire. Vices, addictions, constant forms of mind filling gibberish mask the voices in our heads.

How do I truly be happy?

Insert the fascination with love. The societal predetermined path we all shall systemically follow. Attend 12 years of updated lacking school system, graduate with honors or parish, apply to continue the history laden education process, find love, get a job, walk down the aisle and procreate. Sway from this path, be warned. Our lives are on a time line, predestined to adhere to those, whoever they are, inked.

So, is this the road to happiness? There are thousands of well off path wanderers who claim to know the answer or at the vary least help you believe. Pop another pill, this one is ok. Talk it out. Loose a few. Have a baby. Make millions. Take a look, then all together now..... Is it what I want?

Has the path so traveled brought you to a place not inline with that time line? So what. Why should this make anyone unhappy? You are the only person you wake up to in the morning. The person next to you, even if forever vowed, has a mind of their own as well. We all choose to be happy. Every emotion is a state of mind. If sunshine makes you smile, soak it in. If you want to smile all day, please do. The natural states we allow our bodies to dwell in, are just that- natural.

Ever wonder why it takes more of an effort to frown than smile? Why would the sun be there if not to cause warmth? The manufactured remedies to unhappiness are what make the time line non erasable. Be you, truly you. Unaltered, au natural. Release the mind junk, the voices in your head. Just be. The person next to you, the happy pill, the extra slice or the one of a kind car all fade. The pill dissolves, the engine dies, the taste fades and that person also has countless choices.

No one, nothing can make you happy but you.

Choice happiness, maybe then the path will have side streets.