The Chase

Last night one of my friends, scratch that, sister is the proper word to describe our relation, caught me by surprise at the gym. Monday nights are for football, cue Faith. Monday nights are for running on the treadmill while watching Monday Night Football. Oh, the simple joys of life. So, as I was watching Mr. Brees lead the Saints over the Giants-despite their lack of defense (but that's a whole other subject matter)- I hopped back on next to my sis. We trotted along at 6mph and talked about my dramatic life.

No surprise to her I talked about hitting the books again. "Stop it. That's stupid. Go to law school." Verbatim. Ya, ya, ya. I know, I know. Stop looking at other options. Stop trying to justify choosing nutrition, psychology or even yes, human resources. What I want is to help people. Help people help other people. Someone help me, help!

You see, fate has been playing tricks on me lately. I'm a bartender. I like bartending. Honestly. True, it is far from what I have invested in, but I need to work. I go crazy when I have free time. A preacher, or a retracted preacher, friend of mine tried to mind analyze me once. His brilliance concluded I have issues, therefore I need to consume my life with others so I'm not forced to feed my own needs. Pure genius. Problem, eight years and counting, sans solution. Only my inept craving to help others. This fire shouldn't be put out. What is wrong with wanting to aid others in their quests to kick cancer in the a*@, fight obesity, feed and nourish those lacking, etc....?

Well, lets kill two birds with one stone. Trouble is, fate won't leave me alone. There's also my parents and sister hoping to turn their two cents into a dollar on a daily basis. Apparently a better half will make all my troubles go away. I find it hard to believe a member of the opposite sex labeling themselves as one with my issues and desires will ever end societies view on pharmaceuticals, but fate keeps chucking darts on the bulls-eye I am the only one who can't see on my forehead.

Fine. I give in. For once in my life, I am chasing. Relax. I'm still running. The bane of my existence, I'm sure. I'm a rubber-band; running one way, chasing another. Ya, this is working well.

The past week, I've met two significant individuals who can further my career, received a possible job offer in Orange County and landed a job interview with a company whose sole purpose is to help people help people. Hello. Conclusion: keep running. So what do I do......act like a third grader and pass a note acting out a George Strait song. Perfect.

Where are you now FATE.

In Season

Isn't it strange how there are those who come in to and go out of our lives? It's almost as consistent as history repeating itself. Those I speak of may stay awhile blessing us each and everyday, or blow in from time to time, only exchanging random thoughts as often as there is a full moon, lingering in the back of our minds, never quite giving up. Then, comes along newbies. Those who cross our paths doing wonders for our dreams, desires and just plain mentality. I am not alone. Everyone has all these types of people in, and out of, our lives.

The problem is, we may be so focused on everything that is oh so wrong, that we don't take the time to realize how wonderful our lives are because of all these people. I am blessed with all kinds. Mentors, guardian angels, sisters, acquaintances, teachers, listeners and those who do wonders for my self-esteem. I may not know the reasons why these people are the way they are, but I will continue to ream the benefits of their presence. All of these relationships make me who I am today. Forever touched, even if from one simple gaze.

So what if I am not employed in the field I've spent countless hours immersing myself in. So what, if I ventured across the country for a little while to only return to where I departed. So what if my hair turns gray and my eyes crinkle around the edges. So what if when I look in the mirror I am bombarded with imperfections. So what if I am not sure where I will be tomorrow, unsure if the dreams I have spent my time on will come true. I know those people will come in my life, and go out, just in time to keep me afloat.

I will continue to learn, continue to grow, continue to dream. My in-box delivers a word-of-the-day each morning. Today it read, tenacious. The meaning, Natalie.