The I'm Sorry Squeeze

You don't want to talk about it. No one wants to actually talk about it. Footprints on our souls leave their mark only when we've walked the culprit.

It's like walking the walk and talking the talk. You only truly can relate to an experience when you've traveled in the shoes. The trouble with experience is we all journey differently.  

You went to the beach today!? Me too, it was awesome. Oh, a bird shit in your hat. Not so, awesome.

Immediately you process a response. Chances are laughter. Ahh, you needed that. Well, hate to break it to you, they didn't. Neither did their hat.

Don't process their negatives. You're adding weight they don't need to carry. Their soul is heavy enough. A bird may have shit in your hat before, but no, you do not understand. Stop it. Stop trying.

You can't understand another experience, you can only be there to help them cope. And, like all the great ones, coping is a mechanism operated on a case by case basis. There is no manual or user's guide. There is no right or wrong way. There isn't a youtube video to tell you how to proceed or a self-help book to cross off the steps. 

Being present is the gift, the meaningful thought out response to those little robotic questions. Find out what they want to unwrap and allow yourself to marvel in the surprise.

Who gives a hoot if they want to drink the entire bottle of Johnny, sleep the day away, drop off the face of the earth, eat the whole gallon or suck on their thumb. Time will soften the edges, turn the colors from color to black and white, but the hole will remain. This is the beauty of experience, we gain wisdom and knowledge to allow the hole's darkness to bring in the light.

The black keys make music too. Even if the listener can't hear the melody, the artist plays on for those willing to remain present to witness the notes journey.

As my Dad tells me, Don't be sorry, just don't do it again. Don't convince yourself a little statement we say when we've spilled our glass of milk holds the same compassion to lay with soul experiences.

Someone's heart broke, someone is missing a piece of what makes them who you care for, someone is lost. Someone's hat is a little shitty. Someone is unable to fix them, you.

A day from now, a year from now, the hole will still be there. The I'm sorrys can't last that long. Too many are tossed around cleaning up spilled milk to wipe away tears that may or may not fall.

People actually get paid for this. Clearly, someone thought it was a good idea. It's also been said too much sweetness is bad for your health.

So, please don't be sorry. In a world spewing ignorant niceties, suffocating kind words and questions with thoughtless undertones, be present.

Go be. Be the way they need, not the way you can. Say I'm sorry quietly, safely in your head to the voice shouting It'll be ok. This isn't about your voices. Sit, stand, sprint, slowly ponce, erupt and learn from the calming seas ability to go with the flow. All the good emotions have soul. No two are alike, leave your flattery at the door. Imitation will get you no where. Let them row the boat. Just be there to keep them from drowning.

PS~ However, I am very sorry for your loss tonight. Lion blooded. The end.